As I am standing here at 7 am beginning this Journey, not exactly knowing what I am doing or where this is going, I pray to be lead by the Lord to give what he has given to me.
I am astounded by the way the Lord approaches me, always at times when I am isolated and vulnerable to the world. The first time Jesus came to me was a spring night in Rome, Italy. As I lie there with my eyes closed, praying to be a different person, praying to have my name changed like Saul (After reading Acts), a darkness came over me, and in that darkness a voice, telling me I didn’t want to change that what I am now is fine I didn’t need to change. My heart began to race, “am I going crazy, Lord”. The voice still there, stop praying open your eyes everything will be the same no change necessary your Good exactly as you are. I wasn’t good and I knew it, immediately I knew I am in the midst of the enemy. No, I want to change and I began praying all the more fear overtook me I was afraid I wanted to open my eyes just to get out of the darkness but I knew I couldn’t. Then, a light broke through this bright amazing light as if the sun itself was shining on my face but not that red light you see when you close your eyes and look to the sun a bright white light filled my soul, and I felt this wave of grace and joy fall over me and I knew it was Jesus. I opened my eyes and haven’t seen the world the same since. He has come to me many times after that but that was my first and truest encounter with the Lord. That was almost 7 years ago.
Now, here I am again at that place of isolated vulnerability. I woke up this morning in prayer, I am unemployed, and had to stop my part time job because of a car accident. I have to pay bills with no money, it’s a struggle. I am struggling, with the Lord letting him lead me, trusting him, surrendering to him,abiding in him and resting in him. It’s a daily struggle but I know who I serve and even when it seems strange or silly to the world, my very being is in the hands of the Lord, he knew exactly when I would be in this place and he knows exactly when and how I will get out of it and if it will happen again. So at the end of the day it would be strange and silly for me not to Let go and Let God.
So, I am giving to you all he has given to me in no particular order just as it is given. I hope that it fills you and keeps you close and desiring Jesus. And know he is in control.