When The Wind Blows

As I was reading John 6:16-24, The Lord said to me “Stop looking at the wind.” I was frustrated I just asked him about something the day before and his answer was clear but then I got news that seemed opposite to me. I do that though often I ask the Lord about something start walking in it and as soon as the wind blows I panic, as soon as something happens that seems wrong to me I begin questioning did I do something wrong? Were you never going to give me that? Did I not hear you correctly? Are you punishing me? Why do I constantly get sidetracked when all I have to do is keep my eyes on the person that I asked the question to. Stop trusting in the wind, The wind is not the answer it can’t say yes or no it is only a destraction to turn you away from where your answer lives. Stop fearing the wind, it has no control of the situation, its only purpose is to become your focus so that you began to sink. That was Peter’s mistake and is mines too I realized. I have the one who can hold me up standing right in front of me, but as soon as I feel a little shaky, instead of locking my glaze and holding my focus. I drop my eyes or look around as if I expect something else to save me, or as if I expect not to be saved at all. I don’t want to do that anymore. I don’t want to trust in the wind, or the waves. I want to trust in the Lord, even when the waves rock and the wind blows, even when I question and things seem out of wack. In all situation I want to look towards him no matter what obstacles come my way. I want to stand tall and firm, eyes pointed and focused on the one who will bring me all the way through, with everything I need.


The King’s Castle

I am learning to be more consistent, I have the terrible habit of not always doing what I need to do on a consistence basis, I am consistently inconsistent. Hence the delay in blog post 🙂 (Don’t judge me). I plan to do better, from this point forward my intention is to be intentional about consistently being consistent :-).

I have been battling lately with this idea of where I am and where I think I should be, what position I should have after over 10 years of work experience, how much money I should be making, what type of relationship I should be in, where I should be financially, what kind of car I should be driving, where I should be living  and so much more. I have been basically shoulding all over the place. These thoughts come and go just as suddenly. I love my current job be I feel like I don’t make enough money and I should be in a higher position. I like where I live but I should be in a house not an apartment. But why do I think I should have those things if I don’t right now. What makes me think that God is completely aware of where I am suppose, when I am merely focused on where I think I should be in the worlds eyes, even in my own sometimes. I been thinking that it  might be less a battle with where I am and where I think I should be and more of a battle with the plans that I have for myself vs. the plans God has for me.  It’s crazy I know his plans are better, I know that I am exactly where he wants me to be, exactly where I am suppose to be, even though its not exactly where I think I should be, but again who told be I should be everywhere specific where did this idea of what your suppose to have by what age come into play. I don’t know. But I do know I don’t want to live my life shoulding myself to death (I am literally cracking up right now).I am and will be wherever and whatever I am suppose to be as long as I follow Jesus’s plan and not my own. And I know his plans are castles compared to the hunts I can build. So, you stop shoulding yourself and step into the castle the King is building!

LOVE is Everything

I think I would not be wrong in saying that when people think of love they think of it romantically towards a man or woman. That is love but love is so much more then that too. Real love transforms you, makes you see things clearer, makes you want to be different, changes your goals and desires, changes the way you look at people and talk to people, when you know real love you walk different and talk different its a whole new sight its a whole new you. Depending on what you choose to love it can be a great change or one that is not so great. Its crazy how loving the wrong person can make your whole experience of love different. The way we experience love is the direct result of who we love and let love us. Love is important but we dont learn it in school, we learn it from people who bearly understand it themselves. But we have the opportunity to learn it from its creator, and who knows love better then the God who created it. We have to reset our source, for so long we learned love from people that we have to retrain our minds to learn and understand love through God’s eyes. Through the eyes of the creator, that perfect, unconditional, complete love that requires nothing from you but fills you up so completely. That is the love God holds in his hands waiting for us to grab. Waiting for us to acknowledge and recognize the love that kept him on the cross until death when he could have stopped at anytime. God’s love is so powerful, once we really grasp it Love becomes something total different from what we perceive it to be. It becomes everything we thought it wasn’t and everything we hope it is. Ask God to show you love the way he created it to be and be ready for your whole world to change!

God = Love

Love is a funny thing. I have been reading different books about love and relationships and a couple things stood out to me. First thing was you can’t really know and understand love until you know and understand the love God has for you. I think that is true for a-lot of things but especial love. Accepting his perfect unconditional love opens up a can of worms that can never be sealed. You understand it differently therefore you give it differently, it can be beautiful when you love from a place of eternal unconditional love and it can be ugly when you love from a place of superficial need. Accepting the unconditional love of God fills you, helps you to love from a complete place. Most of us love from a place of want and need we want someone to fill us instead of already being filled by the one who created and gave his love with no strings attached. It sounds so good to love like that but in reality we don’t always do that. We love in the hopes of being loved, not in a place of having love. Can you image loving someone just to love them, I think we do that with family but not others, Jesus on the other hand loved us all of us everyone of us, without wanting or needing anything from us. He is our role model in everything we do, he used the wholeness of God to fill the world with the Love of God. He filled himself everyday with pray and time alone with his Father, he understood the love of God, he understood who God was and who he was because of God. Be a follower of Christ know the Love of God, accept the love of God and live in that love. Part II coming soon 🙂

The Good Life

I began a relationship a few years ago that I shoud not have been in. It was a struggle for me to let it go because this was the first time I liked someone enough to really feel it. It scared my to let it go because I thought what if it never came back, this feeling this overwhelming, wonderful and terrible all at the same time feeling. During that time I spoke with my mentor and she said let go. She then went on to talk about David and Bathsheba, and during that time because my mind was so consumed with not letting go I thought well God brought Solomon out of that relationship, they stayed together it couldn’t be that bad. But that was the state of mind I was in I didn’t want to recieve the truth of that story. This morning I woke up and God reminded me of that moment and then revealed the truth that at that moment I didn’t want to see. David sinned he did wrong he had a choice he made the wrong one, but God is good and he worked David’s wrong out for his good, but God didn’t  say oh David that’s fine I will just fix this for you, he punished David first with the death of the first child they had, but after the punishment he blessed him with another child who happened to be Solomon. For a while I had this notion, “God knows what I will do, God knows how I will react to things.” and this is true but the real truth behind it is God knows your chooses and you can chose to be better, you can make the right choice and not the wrong one and God knows that. Sin is sin, wrong is wrong. Yes, God knows you but so does the devil and he will try his hardest to make you chose wrong and then justified it. Chose right, chose righteousness be as Good in the dark as you are in the light. Yesterday I heard Pricilla Shirer speak and she spoke of a boat and how when it is turned upside down the atmosphere invites critters to it, they don’t need an invitation the environment calls to them and that is how Satan works if you are living in a environment that is hospitable to Satan he will be there, but if you flip that boat and let the sunshine on it the environment changes and it becomes uninhabitable for Satan. Live a life inhospitable to Satan. Everyday chose to sit in the sun, chose good, chose right, chose truth, chose well and intentionally, chose God’s glory over self. That is my ambition for this year and for every year after I chose life, the life that the Lord has for me, the good life.

What’s Good?!

I think a lot about Who God is, his attributes. As I was driving a young man home one night and he was talking about his relationship with God, somewhere in our conversation he said, “I am a good person”. And I thought about that a lot how God is a good God but our perception of good is different from the kind of Good he is, his good is pass comprehension, we can’t even fathom what good really means when it comes to God. The definition of good is morally excellent; virtuous; righteous; pious. We don’t use good in that way morally excellent um more like semi decent. But God is morally excellent, virtuous and righteous he is the very definition of good. And even though we can’t always perceive good and the way we should and the most excellent way it is meant to be perceived we can always know that even when we can’t comprehend his goodness he is still that GOOD. 

Hello Thirty

Tomorrow I am turning 30. I feel no particular way about it, because I have been gradually aging since the day I was born, people have been asking how I feel and I feel  just like I did when I turned 29 and 28. I think years are an experience and this year has been such an experience for me one of the most terrible, beautiful, sad, scary, greatest experience of my life thus far. Standing on the edge of 30 I can see how amazing and transforming it was. How much I learned about God and who I am because of who he is. I am making a list of things I want to focus on this year I am trying to do a top 5 I am currently at 4. My first one is to have intentional, meaningful, God-Centered relationships with people and to build on the relationships I already have, to understand them better, to put more time and attention into them. Second to live more intentionally , with more purpose, with more peace about the decisions I make in life. Third learn more about Jesus, learn more about who I am because he chose me. Fourth love people better, learn to be loved better, hold tight to my true source of love and try not to make someone else that main source. As I said I am still working on #5. I am excited about 30 I am excited about what it will look and feel like. I am excited for what I will learn and leave and how I will be at the end of it. I am excited about this Experience and I am more excited that I had my last experience to prepare me for this one.